Memoir prompts, answered out loud
Plenty of people have a memoir in them and no wish to write one. A blank page feels like a test, while talking feels like talking. So these prompts are written to be answered out loud, with someone listening or a recorder running. Someone who says "I can't write" can usually tell you, in order and with feeling, what happened the winter the furnace died. Pick a prompt, talk for five minutes, and stop. Don't worry about the order; chapters can be sorted out later. Under each prompt is a nudge for keeping going when the first answer runs out, which is usually where the good material starts.
First times
First times stick in memory, so they are easy places to begin.
- Tell about the first time you left home for more than a night.
Follow-up: What did you pack, and what did you forget? - Describe your first day at a job.
Follow-up: Who showed you where to go? - Tell about the first time you drove alone.
Follow-up: Where did you go? - Describe the first place that was really yours.
Follow-up: What was the first thing you did there? - Tell about the first time you voted, flew or saw the ocean.
Follow-up: Who was with you? - Describe the first time someone relied on you.
Follow-up: What did you do? - Tell about the first time you told a lie that mattered.
Follow-up: What came of it?
Places
Set a place and the people in it start to show up.
- Describe a street you lived on, house by house.
Follow-up: Who lived behind each door? - Tell about a place you can never go back to.
Follow-up: What would you do there for one hour? - Describe the place you felt safest.
Follow-up: Who else was there? - Tell about a workplace, from the smell to the noise.
Follow-up: Who was there first every morning? - Describe the town where you grew up as it was then.
Follow-up: What did people do on Saturday night? - Tell about the longest journey you ever took.
Follow-up: What did you see that you still remember? - Describe a church, bar, diner or club you belonged to.
Follow-up: Who ran the place?
People who changed you
A memoir is mostly about other people. Tell what they did, not what they were like.
- Tell about someone who believed in you early.
Follow-up: What did they do about it? - Describe an enemy, rival or boss you couldn't stand.
Follow-up: What did they teach you anyway? - Tell about a friend you lost touch with.
Follow-up: What was the last time you saw them? - Describe the funniest person you have known.
Follow-up: What is the story you tell about them? - Tell about a stranger who changed your day or your life.
Follow-up: Did you ever find out their name? - Describe how you met the love of your life.
Follow-up: What almost got in the way? - Tell about someone you owe an apology.
Follow-up: What would you say?
Turning points
Each of these could be its own chapter.
- Tell about a decision you made in one night.
Follow-up: What was on the table the next morning? - Describe a day when everything changed.
Follow-up: What were you doing an hour before? - Tell about a time you failed in public.
Follow-up: Who stood by you? - Describe when you left something behind: a job, a town, a faith.
Follow-up: What did you take with you? - Tell about the time you were most afraid.
Follow-up: What did you do with your hands? - Describe a time you stood up to someone.
Follow-up: What did it cost? - Tell about the luckiest thing that ever happened to you.
Follow-up: What if it hadn't?
Ordinary days
Readers love these. The ordinary is what disappears.
- Walk through a normal morning from your twenties.
Follow-up: What was on the radio? - Describe a meal you made over and over.
Follow-up: Who complained about it? - Tell about a car, truck or bicycle you loved.
Follow-up: Where did it take you? - Describe what you did on Sundays.
Follow-up: Who were you with? - Tell about a song that takes you back.
Follow-up: Where were you when you first heard it? - Describe what was in your pockets or your purse.
Follow-up: What is the story of one of those things? - Tell about a family joke nobody else would understand.
Follow-up: How did it start?
What it added up to
Finish here. These make good closing chapters.
- Tell what you would say to yourself at eighteen.
Follow-up: Would you have listened? - Describe something you believed that turned out to be wrong.
Follow-up: When did you find out? - Tell what work has meant to you.
Follow-up: Which day shows that best? - Describe a promise you kept.
Follow-up: What did it take? - Tell about something you made that will outlast you.
Follow-up: Who has it now? - Describe what a good life looks like now.
Follow-up: How close did you get? - Tell the one story your family should never lose.
Follow-up: Why that one?
Before you sit down
Set up the simplest thing you can: a phone recorder or a free interview, and a chair you like. Choose a prompt, press record and talk to one specific person, such as a grandchild, rather than to an imagined reader. Don't stop to fix anything. People speak far more naturally when they aren't trying to sound like a book.
Do a little at a time. Five minutes a day for two months gives you more material than most people ever write down. Don't start with your birth or try to go in order. Begin with whatever you most want to tell, and put it in sequence later on, once you can see what you have.
When you read a transcript of your own voice, you may wince. Almost everybody does. Keep your own turns of phrase and fix only what confuses a reader. Read it aloud once, and leave in the small habits of speech that sound like you. The way you say things is what your family will want to hear, and it's what makes it yours.
Three common mistakes
- Asking too much at once. Two questions in one sentence get half an answer. Ask one, then wait.
- Asking over a bad phone line. People give short answers when they can't hear you well or can't see your face. Sit down together, or use a clear connection and a quiet room.
- Rushing to correct them. If a date is wrong, let it go. Stop someone to fix a detail and they stop telling the story. Check facts later.
Common questions
Can you write a memoir without writing?
Yes. Talking through prompts and having it transcribed gives you the raw material. Many people find they tell stories far more easily than they write them.
What is a good first memoir prompt?
Start with a first time, like the first night away from home. It has a clear beginning and is easy to remember.
How long should each answer be?
About five minutes works well. Short sessions keep it from feeling like a project, and you can always come back to a good one.
Would you rather not do the asking? Start a free interview. You send a link, the AI asks the questions and follows up on what they say, and you keep the recording and a written story. The first ten minutes are free, and they don't need an app.